Archive for May, 2008

Topology 2

May 15, 2008

Just do itSo, after a lot of faffing and umm-ing and ah-ing, I got my ears pierced at the weekend. Most of the faffing was due to worrying how I would be perceived as a chap with two pierced ears.

Yes, that’s a silly thing to worry about. I worry too much.

Anyway, last weekend I realised that if I wanted them healed for Sparkle it was now or never, so now it was. A quick journey into Selfridge’s and a surprisingly small amount of pain later, it was done (really, compared with any of the body piercings I’ve had this hurt less than the alarm clock some mornings).

The results have been… anticlimactic. Nobody (that I haven’t talked to about it, anyway) seems even to have even noticed. In particular I would have expected something at least from my colleagues. I’m going to leave it a week and then start asking if anyone’s noticed anything different about me…

Of course in a lot of ways this is encouraging; I’m still at the baby tranny stage of assuming that when I go out dressed everyone within a 100m radius will immediately notice. It’s hardly news that people in general wander around thinking about money or football or computers or last night’s telly or anything apart from what’s in front of them, but I guess I still need to learn that.

Anyway, I have the tiniest 3mm studs. I’m really looking forward to fabulous funky chunky ‘rings, or lovely sleek shiny things, but for the time being it’s standard studs and nightly cleansing with cotton buds. Boring, but I think it’s going to be worth it.

Male gaze

May 5, 2008

Male gazeI assume you’ve heard of the idea of the "male gaze" – the idea that in most film the camera is directed in a way that assumes the viewer is a heterosexual man?

It’s something I worry about in the photos I take of myself. While I’m not as bad as those that photograph themselves with legs apart, bottom in the air etc., I still construct the image in quite a male way I suspect. Ah well, everyone needs something to worry about.

Of course, in this one, my camera developed a male gaze on its own. I set it to focus on my face, but still my legs end up in focus. Bloody patriarchy.